Warriors - Trade update

  • By Kris Burley, Day 89, 2021

PHILADELPHIA - As announced yesterday, the Philadelphia Warriors have traded PG Tyler Davis and PG Cassius Tyson to the Las Vegas Scorpions for PG Devante Parker. GM KB held a press conference earlier today to address perceived concerns with the trade. Rather than entertain questions from reporters, GM KB launched into a 60 second tirade, bewildering all in attendance.

'Davis has been a great team player over the past 4 years here and we thank him for his services. We wish him well in his future endeavours. We welcome the veteran leadership of Devante Parker and the experience he brings to the team.

Clearly we are performing better that expected this season, so why would we make such a disruptive move? There has been much criticism of our approach. There will be more.

To attempt to convince the 'armchair analysts' out there that our actions are just will serve to paint us in a different light among some of our competitors as progressives worth emulating, versus adversaries worthy of their disdain. Call me old-fashioned, but sometimes the optimal place for your light is hiding directly under a billy can'

GM KB then left the podium, only to return 15 seconds later with his final thoughts: 'Oh and good luck to the other guy Tyson'